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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Related by Chance, Family by Choice by Deb DeArmond Book Review

Related by Chance, Family by Choice 

Transforming Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Relationships

By Deb DeArmond

978-0-8254-4325-1 | $13.99 | Paperback Kregel Publications 

Tour Dates:
January 13-17, 2014

Books Delivered By: December 14, 2013
Register By: November 7, 2013 

About the book: 
The caricatures are everywhere, the jokes are inexhaustible, and the stereotypes fill the screens. From Marie Barone (Everyone Loves Raymond) to Viola Fields(Monster-in-Law) to Internet sites and social media pages like ihatemyinlaws.com and a Facebook page for ihatemymotherinlaw there is no shortage of examples of the caustic relationships that can develop between the two women in a man's life.

Deb DeArmond and her three daughters-in-law have conducted their own exhaustive research into the status of the women-in-law relationship. Their research, which incorporated online surveys, interviews, and discussions, included asking about the faith factor in the relationships they studied. Of the respondents, nearly 90 percent claimed they were Christians, and 79 percent said their faith was foundational and guided their actions and decisions. As discouraging as it may be, the numbers of those they surveyed who reported that their women-in-law relationships were "bad" were nearly identical to those in a survey conducted by a popular secular website that recorded no statistics on faith.

Beyond the statistics and their analysis, Deb brings to this book more than thirty years working with adults to improve communications and deal constructively with conflict. Aside from her research and her professional expertise, perhaps the most important asset Deb brings to this work is her own relationship with her three daughters-in-law that is so obviously and unusually positive that she--and they--are often asked to explain the secret of the relationships they share.

This practical and unapologetically scriptural book covers issues of personal perceptions, strained communication, the roles of sons and fathers in the relationship's success, how to begin these relationships on the right foot, and the necessity of trust and love. Deb's one motivating objective is to help women-in-law move from women who are simply related to strong and confident members of a truly spiritual family.
My review;
This is a really good book for any in-law who needs guidance on how to effectively talk to each other about issues and their feelings. This book answers many questions  on how to get along with and help each other. Too often we do not stop to think about what we say or do, beforehand and that is what I think this book tries to tell us.  It is very easy to get upset or mad at someone but it is better for a relationship of any kind if you try to understand the why. In-law does not have to be a bad word. I give this book a 4/5. I was given this book by Kregel Publications and all opinions are my own.

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