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Monday, October 28, 2013

Funny Business by Desmond Book Tour and Giveaway X. Torres


FUNNY BUSINESS Publisher: Monarch Moments Publication

Date: October 24, 2013

Genre: Romantic Comedy Artie’s been carrying a torch for Marie since she first repaired his car at Smitty’s garage. Too bad she hates cops. You could write a novel about it. Actually, Artie did. He even published it online. It’s a little cheesy, but his pen name Desiree Robb is developing a fan base.  Out of the blue, the book takes off, igniting an avalanche of sales. Desiree Robb is approached by a major publisher- they’re offering millions!  But Desiree has to show her pretty face for promotions. Guess who Artie asks to be Desiree?  Marie signs on- for a price. It’s easy money, but things get complicated. Artie’s driving her batty. Or is there something more? During preparations for a live TV broadcast, a sweet romance tentatively begins.  More complications ensue. The mob gets involved. These guys mean business- so what if they still live with their parents? Then there’s the hot for cops VP, a popular talk show, and the FBI. It all fuses into a laugh out loud cluster chaos as tangled as a New York City rush hour. 

Available for ONLY $0.99: Amazon - http://www.amazon.com/Funny-Business-ebook/dp/B00G737XT0


A former New York City cop, Desmond X. Torres will neither confirm nor deny his ownership of a blonde wig and pink bathrobe. He always wanted to be an astronaut, but the closest he ever got was being called a space shot. In his spare time, he enjoys mixed martial arts, motocross racing, and base jumping from tall buildings. He has a great cable TV package. And beer. He loves beer. And nachos. He really loves nachos. He’d better say he loves K.D. McLean too or she’s going to brain him. He has been writing since he can remember. It started in primary school. Penmanship has always been important to him - it’s a lost art. His motto for life is – “I’m going to live forever.” So far, so good.

Connect with Desmond: Blog | Facebook | Goodreads Desmond X Torres' FUNNY BUSINESS Tour 10/29 - 11/30

Men Talk About Clothes As Much A Women Do- You Just Have To Know The CODE


Hi to all the gang here at 3 Partners In Shopping. Thanks for letting me stop by to tell you about my my debut novel Funny Business. I hope you check it out, and I hope even more you spring a buck to buy it!

There’s a scene that happened in my book that got me thinking….

In Funny Business, Artie has gone into a business partnership with Marie. He published an eBook under the pen name ‘Desiree Robb’. Now a big shot New York City publisher wants to publish a hardcover version and they’re offering ‘Desiree’ millions for the rights to the book. Artie hired Marie to be the public persona of ‘Desiree Robb’.

Marie, who’s a car mechanic, undergoes a total makeover. I’m talking $600.00 hair style here, let alone the makeup, nails and clothes! When Artie sees her, his two years of hanging back from making a move on her gets tossed out the window and a romance begins.

This got me thinking about clothes. I’m going to reveal a secret to you guys. Keep it under your hat, okay?

Here it is: Men talk about clothes as much as women do. Yep. Take it from me. We really do. Except, we use The Super Seekrit Guy Code when we do. We had to swear on our first copy of Playboy never to reveal it. I’m serious!

Let’s compare the honesty of an interchange between two women and the nefarious doublespeak we men use. This stuff happens every day.

In the first example, we’re going to see Marie and her friend Stella:

“Hi Stella,” said Marie, “Oh my God, I love your top!”

“Thanks, Marie. I got it on sale at Loehmann’s. It was marked down from $225.00 to $25.00. I couldn’t pass it up.” Stella plucks at the sleeve. “They say it’s crushed silk, but I think it’s really a polyester blend.”

Fingering the fabric, Marie replies “Yeah, $25.00 for crushed silk? No way. But it looks just like crushed silk. I like it. It really goes with your pants and shoes.”

“Yeah. I had these shoes for two years and hardly ever wore them. But when I got this top, they work.”

“They sure do. You look great.”

“Thanks Marie. So what’s new?”

We shall now leave this scene and join Artie and see how two guys talk to each other. About clothes.

“Hi Joe, whatcha doin’?”

“Hi Artie. Ahhh… I’m just tryin’ to get this dining room chair to stop from squeaking.”

“Oh. You gluing it?”

“I’m tryin’, but I can’t fit the tip of the bottle into the slot.”

“So whatcha gonna do?”

“I’ll probably drill a hole or something. But I don’t have a drill bit small enough.”

“Waitaminnit. I got one in my shirt pocket.” Artie reaches into his shirt pocket. “What do you think?” He hands the drill bit to Joe who looks at it, and looks back up at Artie.

“Yeah, it looks good. Thanks, man. I oughta be done in a couple of minutes. You want to watch the game?”

“Yeah, sounds like a good idea. Wanna beer?”

See? Artie said ‘shirt’ and ‘pocket’. Right there he talked about clothes. And what did Joe say back? Read the exchange again—he said ‘Yeah, it looks good’. Some people might think that they were talking about the drill bit, but nooo…. THEY WERE DISCUSSING ARTIE’S OUTFIT IN SUPER SEEKRIT GUY SPEAK. Trust me on this.

I’ll leave you with a couple more examples. In the sport of golf, one of the biggest professional tournaments is The Masters. Winning The Masters puts you in the history books.

And what is the great and wondrous prize these icons of golf are vying for? Hmmm?


Clothes. I rest my case.

Don’t even get me started on men’s fixation with accessories- World Series RINGS, Stanley Cup RINGS…

I hope you enjoyed my post, and I hope you enjoy Funny Business!

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1 comment:

  1. The book's premise looks interesting, and I love the witty guest post. ;)