Heart
on a String
by
Susan Soares
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BLURB:
The
only thing harder than lying about your life? Facing it.
Marissa
tells lies.
To
herself, about the fact that her brother abandoned her.
To
her grandmother, when she says “everything’s fine.”
To
the world when she pretends her mother is at home or working late.
When she doesn’t tell them her mother is dead.
She
doesn’t even question the wisdom of living in a world built on lies
anymore—until she meets Brandon. Unlike Marissa, Brandon faces his
grief head-on. As their relationship sweetens, Marissa realizes the
value of letting someone in and not letting her grief destroy her.
But when her past filled with denial catches up with her, Marissa is
forced to tell Brandon her darkest secrets, or risk losing him.
The
only thing harder than lying about her life? Facing it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guest post, thank you to Susan Soares author for sharing her ideas with us today, on 3 Partners in Shopping.
Topic: Does
the author think that e-books have had a good effect on authors or a
bad. What is the authors views on e-Book versus physical.
Great
question! Growing up and imaging myself as an author I never imagined
I'd have an e-book attached to my name. Then again no one had any
idea what the future would bring. I think e-books are wonderful.
However, there's nothing like holding a physical book in your hand. I
actually did a video on this topic for my YouTube channel. You can
check it out here:
http://youtu.be/LWwpXWGA-Ro
I
do believe that e-books are a good thing. They can open readers up to
a whole new world of books they may never have discovered before.
It's also wonderful to be able to get a free sample of a book to see
if you like it or not. Also the option of instant gratification is
one of my favorite things about e-books. This is also a positive for
the author. Say two people are hanging out and one person mentions
this great book they just read, well then the other person can pop on
their phone with an ereader app and download the book! The idea is
fresh in their minds and they can get the book immediately. The
biggest difference for me is the connection. When reading a physical
book I feel a deeper connection to the book and the story. But any
format that gets people reading is a positive thing for me.
Excerpt
I held
my breath as I ran past the cemetery. Stupid, I know. Regardless,
it’s one of those idiotic things that stick with you from your
childhood. Like fragments of your being that imprint themselves on
your chemical makeup. It was my older brother, Marc, who had told me
that once when we were in the backseat of Mom’s old hatchback and
were driving past the Sacred Path Cemetery.
Marc
poked me in my side. “Quick, hold your breath,” he said before
taking in a puff of air and holding it in.
“What?
Why?” I looked around from side to side.
He
didn’t answer me. Instead he just kept motioning with his hands,
pointing out the window, putting his hands around his neck like he
was choking or something. Finally, when we turned left onto Harper
Street he let out a big exhale.
“Oh
man, now you’re toast.” He pointed at me and laughed. That
maniacal laugh only older brothers know how to do. I was seven at the
time, and Marc was ten. “You probably have a ghost inside you now.”
He grinned like a devious villain.
“A
ghost?” I said.
“You
didn’t hold your breath while we drove past the cemetery. Again I
state — you’re toast.” He began drumming on his lap with his
hands.
I didn’t
comprehend what he was telling me, but I knew I didn’t like it.
Tears started forming in my eyes, and I knew I had to rely on my
failsafe. “Mooommm,” I cried out, and immediately I felt Marc’s
sweaty hand over my mouth.
“Yes,
Marissa?” Mom’s sweet voice carried from the front of the car to
the backseat.
“She’s
fine, Mom. I got it.” Marc’s tone was of the dutiful son. He
unclamped his hand from my face. “Listen,” he began, talking kind
of slow. “You’ve got to remember this. I’m going to give you a
life lesson here. Are you ready?”
His
green eyes were sparkling, and I nodded my head in agreement.
“Okay.”
He crouched down a bit so he was eye-level with me. “You must
always, and I mean always, hold your breath when you drive past a
cemetery. And if you’re walking past one, you must run — run and
hold your breath until you’re clear. Otherwise, the spirits of the
undead could invade your body. And you don’t want that to happen.
Do you?” I almost couldn’t tell if the last part was a question
or a statement.
“But I
didn’t hold my breath back there, and all the times before. What if
one’s in me right now?” I began pawing at my body.
Marc
threw his head back and laughed. “Nah, you’re fine. Just be
careful. Now that you know you have to do it, always do it.
Understand?”
Again I
shook my head. Marc gave me a thumbs-up, and I begged Mom to take
Chester Street instead of Maple because I knew there was a big
cemetery on Maple. Luckily she agreed.
So now,
here I was ten years later, holding my breath as I ran past Sacred
Path Cemetery. While I ran, my new sneakers — the ones I had to
work double shifts on Saturdays for three weeks to get — started
rubbing the back of my left heel, and I knew I’d have a blister the
size of a quarter later on. It’s hard to keep your pace when you’re
holding your breath. Luckily Sacred Path Cemetery isn’t that big.
Just big enough. It’s just big enough. That’s what my grandmother
said anyway. I was almost halfway through when I heard the clicking
of the tips of my shoelace
on the
ground. My thoughts concentrated on what those tip things were
called, anything to get my mind off the cemetery. Aglets, I
remembered! My aglets were hitting the pavement, and I knew if I
didn’t stop and retie that lace, then I would land flat on my face.
Grace has never been a character trait of mine. My mother, yes, but
not me. Marissa No-Grace McDonald should have been my legal name. How
my mother came up with Scranton for my middle name I’ll never know.
The last
thing I wanted to happen was to fall face first in front of the
cemetery. Complete body invasion for sure then. I couldn’t hold my
breath that long. So I did what I had to do. I stopped, turned my
face the opposite direction of the cemetery, and took one big breath
in and held it. Next, I bent down and furiously retied that lace. Why
is it that whenever you try doing something in a rush it never comes
out right? Somehow I tied my finger into the knot. Then, I couldn’t
get the loops to line up right. Just as I was finally conquering the
over-under shoelace tying technique that Marc had taught me when I
was five, I heard muffled sounds coming from inside the cemetery. I
searched for the source of the sounds. As I looked near the line of
big oak trees that lined the right-hand side of the cemetery, I saw
the profiles of a family. What I assumed was a family, anyway. There
was a woman, about my mom’s age, a guy about my age, and a younger
boy, maybe six or seven. The little boy was holding a metallic
balloon, which was red and in the shape of a heart. Bright sun caught
the corner of it, creating a glare that momentarily impaired my
vision. When my eyes refocused, I was suddenly aware of my body and
extremely aware of the fact that I was watching this family’s
private moment, in the cemetery, in this cemetery. My heart beat
frantically, and I became aware that my forehead was covered in
perspiration. I stood up, held my breath again, and ran the next half
a block without stopping, my aglets clicking against the pavement all
the way.
When I
crossed over onto Brenton Street, I finally slowed down. I felt like
I could breathe again. My pace was back to a more conservative speed,
and after one more break to retie that shoelace-triple-knot, I was
able to refocus. The spring air felt good on my skin. As the sun
poured down on me, my face embraced its warmth. Lilacs were in full
bloom everywhere, and I made a special detour down Hazel Street to
run past the six lilac bushes Mr. Brockwell planted a few years ago.
He said it was just because he wanted to add some color to his front
yard, but I knew better. I knew they were for my mom.
Turning
down Hazel Street, I inhaled the heavy floral scent of the
freshly-bloomed lilac bushes, and I could picture my mom smiling. As
I ran past the last bush, the little blue house finally came into
view. I saw Mr. Brockwell picking up his newspaper from his front
step. In that moment I wished I had magical powers to turn myself
invisible.
“Marissa?
Hey Marissa!” he shouted while making his way over to the fence.
Oh
great. “Oh, hey, Mr. Brockwell.” I slowed down and began jogging
in place, hoping the gesture would let him know I couldn’t stay to
chat.
“It’s
been a long time since you’ve run this route, hasn’t it?” He
cinched his blue terrycloth robe a little tighter.
Trying
to remain active, I kept jogging in place. “Yeah, I guess. I wanted
to run past the lilacs.” I wasn’t sure if it was the sun or my
nerves, but I felt like my body was going into heat shock or
something.
Mr.
Brockwell stared at me, and then I saw his eyes get glassy. He began
to speak but then ran his hand over his mouth like he was muffling
down what he wanted to say. His hands fumbled with his paper, and he
cleared his throat.
“It’s
good to see—” he paused; it was like the words were getting
caught in his throat like tuna inside a fisherman’s net.
I
realized I was standing still. My legs began to spasm. He caught my
eye one more time, but just for a moment before he had to look away.
I knew why. It was the reason I never ran past his house anymore. The
reason why we couldn’t have a conversation anymore. Everyone used
to tell me I was so lucky to look so much like my mom. She was
gorgeous. High cheekbones, perfect heart-shaped mouth, sparkling blue
eyes that sat perfectly on her oval face. Besides her hair being a
stunning ash blond and mine being mouse brown, we did look quite
similar. Except that while her features seemed to make her look like
Grace Kelly, mine seemed to make me look like, well, not Grace Kelly.
But it
was moments like this — Mr. Brockwell unable to look at me for more
than a minute without having to look away — that I wished I looked
less like her. I felt like my face was betraying him. Like my
cheekbones and lips were baiting him with memories of him and my mom
together. Although now, each memory was served with a side of sorrow
instead of a side of joy.
I’ll
never forget when I saw him two days after the funeral. We bumped
into each other at Have Another Cup Coffee Shop on Main Street. First
he hugged me and asked how I was doing; then he had to look away, and
he told me why.
“It
hurts to look at you, Marissa. You look so much like her.” I knew
how much he loved my mom, and Marc and I enjoyed having him around,
but after that moment I made sure to keep my distance. So he went
from being Hank to back to being Mr. Brockwell.
Now, I
stood there — uncomfortable from sweat that covered me head to toe
— wondering how much longer I needed to stand there while he
avoided my face. “So, I gotta go or my pace is gonna be all messed
up.”
Hank, I
mean, Mr. Brockwell took one final look at me. “Sure, sure.” He
started to walk backward then stopped. “Marissa, just so you know.
Any time you want to see the lilacs you can.”
The lump
in my throat held back any words I could have gotten out, so I just
waved and made a beeline for the next street so I could start my way
back home. Seeing Mr. Brockwell had put me into a fog. My brain
wasn’t able to concentrate on my pace or on my footing, and I began
to get a shin splint pain on my left-hand side. Unfortunately, this
was the same side as the blister. My run was only six miles, but my
body was starting to feel like I was at mile thirteen. I couldn’t
relax my breathing, and the back of my throat felt like it was on
fire every time I inhaled. In my fog, I didn’t realize I forgot to
cross Parker Street, and now the only way to get back was to take
Fletcher Street again. And run past Sacred Path Cemetery, again. Now,
I ran past that cemetery every day on my jog, but only once. Once was
all I needed to let me get it out of my system. And it’s not like
my mom’s grave is right where I run past. She’s way on the other
side, the Cranville Street side. I never run that side. But now, in
all the confusion, I have to go past it again. My hand scratched an
itch at the back of my neck as the street sign came into view. Like
always, I stopped for a moment, took a few deep breaths in and out,
then grabbed one big breath of air and held it as I started my way
past the cemetery.
My focus
was way up ahead to the stop sign at the other end. I kept my eyes on
that sign and kept my feet stepping under me, quick and steady. I
wasn’t even halfway across when I caught sight of some sort of
string frantically whipping in the wind, and I was running straight
toward it. My gaze moved to follow the line of the string, trying to
see what it was attached to, and that’s when I saw it, caught in
the big tree right by the fence. The red, heart-shaped metallic
balloon, and my heart hit the ground.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AUTHOR
Bio and Links:
Susan
Soares grew up in a small town in Massachusetts, always dreaming of
one day being an author. After numerous short stories, poems and
plays, those dreams finally became a reality when her first book, My
Zombie Ex-Boyfriends was published. (Featherweight Press, 2013) Her
second book Heart on a String was just released in June 2014 by
Astraea Press.
Susan
received her MA in Creative Writing and English from Southern New
Hampshire University, and will be pursuing teaching soon. When she
isn't writing Susan spends her time reading, experimenting with
photography, planning her next Disney World vacation and chasing
after her kids.
Susan
loves to read YA fiction. Maybe it's because her inner
sixteen-year-old still wants to be prom queen.
Links:
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/susansoares1
Website:
https://www.susansoares.com/
Goodreads
Author page:
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7036368.Susan_Soares
Buy
Links:
Barnes &
Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/heart-on-a-string-susan-soares/1119650502?ean=2940149212767
Susan will be awarding a Life is all Good LOVE Tote to a randomly drawn winner (http://www.zappos.com/life-is-good-all-good-tote-soft-purple) , a multi-heart turquoise charm bracelet (http://www.zappos.com/m-f-western-multi-heart-charm-turquoise-bracelet-silver) to another randomly drawn winner, a signed copy of Heart on a String to one more randomly drawn winner and finally, a signed bookmark of Heart on a String to three randomly drawn winners.
All prizes will be awarded via rafflecopter during the tour.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
thanks for hosting me today!
ReplyDeleteI love the cover of this book, it's so pretty!
ReplyDelete